The Easiest Ceviche In The World

The competitive cook/entertainer in me hates to share this. It could quite possible be the biggest bang-for-the-buck party food in the universe, given how good it tastes and how beautiful it looks compared to how stupid easy it is to make. But my generous spirit prevails.

(Filter: Actually, I'm so proud of myself for thinking of this one that I need to brag about it. Spirit, shmirit--it's my narcissism prevailing all the way).

So here it is. As a confirmed Trader Joe's groupie, I've relied on my favorite guy to supply me with the ingredients. But they should be easy enough to find if you live in one of the three zip codes without access to him.

Mock Ceviche

1 16 oz. package frozen seafood blend (shrimp, scallops and calamari)
1 12 oz. container fresh salsa
1 small avocado, cut into small dice
Juice of 1 lime

Cook the seafood any way you like. I dry-saute it till it turns opaque, but you could also boil it (hmm, add some beer to the boiling liquid maybe?), steam it, or nuke it (stirring quite often if you use this option to keep the morsels tender). Let it cool completely and then mix in the rest of the ingredients.

That's it. Now that you have all this extra time on your hands, you can think about ways to dress it up. Some options include:
--serving it in a martini glass, with some shredded green whatever or a flurry of chips underneath;
--adding any or all of the following: minced red onion, mango, black beans, cilantro or even green apple;
--serving it in endive spears or on tostadas for your next book club or cookie exchange; or
--eating it out of Tupperware, secure in the knowledge that half the recipe will utterly fill you up for just over 300 calories and hardly any carbs, if that's your thing.

Or go whole hog and break out the chips. Ole!